five more minutes…

I’m not a morning person. I never have been and I’m certain I never will be one.

I don’t know what it is. Sometimes when I wake up and the sun is shining into my bedroom window and the sky is blue and the birds are chirping I just want to roll over, bury myself in my bed, plug my ears, close my eyes, and go back to that dream I was having where I was finally getting a pet owl. I was going to train him to do tricks and deliver the mail.

I always have to set like ten alarms to wake up in the morning and even then I end up laying in bed, counting to a thousand and waiting for my eyes to adjust. In case you’re wondering, counting isn’t very effective if you’re trying to stay awake.

I can’t remember if it’s always been this way. Was I one of those kids who woke up at the crack of dawn and woke up my parents immediately? I know that I did that on Christmas. We did that so many Christmas mornings that my parent’s banned us from their bedroom before 6am… or maybe it was 7am. Honestly I don’t remember and that’s probably because I never listened to the rule. Listen, everybody loves presents. Sorry mom and dad.

Speaking of mom and dad, I know being a morning person isn’t genetic. My parents get up bright and early every morning although that may not be because they want to, that might be because they are so used to getting up bright and early because they’ve Been doing it for so long. They say that it takes 21 days to make a habit and lord knows they’ve been doing that forever. I’m sure it would stick with me if I did that every day.

I don’t like when people tell you that you aren’t a morning person. It seems like a rude thing to say to people. It’s their “non-offensive” way of saying “Hey, you’re a bitch in the morning.” Sure, I don’t like to have long conversations in the morning but who does? Ok, a lot of people do but still!

Let’s be honest: The best part about morning is breakfast. But even that’s not it because you can eat that anytime.

Brunch is really great. It happens in the afternoon and they have mimosas so why not just go to brunch.

I’m just trying to say let’s all just sleep in. I think we would all be happier.

Here’s the happy moment. By the way, this is how my mom woke me up when I was a kid. Have fun getting it out of your head!

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