Baby you can drive my car… because I don’t really want to

I hate driving

I don’t think I’m aggressive enough for it and I’m certainly not enthusiastic enough for it.

When I turned 16 I was like “ok, whatever, who cares” and then I waited to get my license. Maybe I was afraid or maybe — no, there’s nothing else. I was just afraid.

To be fair, I did the same thing with riding a bike. I didn’t learn how to do that until 3rd grade which was embarrassing because my parents got me a bike when I turned 6 and I asked them not to and they did it anyway but whatever.

Anyway, driving

There are several things about driving that I don’t like:

First and foremost, the other drivers. What’s their deal, man? I mean seriously. They are always riding my tail and slamming on the brakes and passing me aggressively. What’s that all about? It just seems really unnecessarily mean. Like hey, why won’t you let me into your lane when my lane is closed ahead for construction? It won’t hurt you. It’s just helping out another human.

I just don’t feel like the road is the best place to take out your emotions but hey, that’s just me.

The second is how focused you have to be. I have A.D.H.D. I don’t want to pay attention to anything! That’s ridiculous. That’s why I don’t text and drive. I’m no good at multitasking when I have to give more attention in one place. That and it’s illegal and dangerous.

The third is directions. I hate having to know which way I’m going. And I hate my G.P.S.. I used to think it was amazing but it’s really not. I suppose that could be my fault. We haven’t updated it in some time. I drove to see a friend the other day and I got to play a round of “who is right” between the G.P.S. which claimed it would take me 2 hours and the internet which said it would take an hour and a half. The internet won.

The G.P.S. was supposed to be this fantastic tool that saved me from shuffling through papers like a mad woman while I was driving but what’s the point if the internet print out directions are better than the turn by turn satellite directional system in my car?

My dream is to someday have a driver so I can sleep while I’m traveling and that will save me the stress I feel when I’m trying to get to a party on time. But then again, who doesn’t dream of that. Until then, I suppose I will continue to be a passive, careful driver that I always have been… and maybe I’ll take a road trip.

Here’s your happy moment:

Drive Safe


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