I guess since it’s june it would be summer cleaning

It’s good to do a cleanse every once in a while.

It’s healthy. It flushes out your system and sort of reboots everything. You can do one where you drink only fresh fruit and vegetable juice which I’ve done or you can try one that only lets you drink water, cayenne pepper, maple syrup and lemon juice which sounds awful or you can try something else, I don’t really care.

The importance of the act however is to clean things up and out. Like spring cleaning.

I think we should do the same thing with our technology.

I was going through my facebook friends the other day and I noticed that I have a lot of people on there who I haven’t talked to since high school. There are people who I didn’t even talk to in high school. And then there’s twitter. I look through the list of people I follow and I realize that I don’t care about what half of them have to say.

So I have to decide who to cut. There are things that you have to consider when you are deciding who you want to cut.

There are a few categories of friends:

There are friends who are always up to party and make you feel like this

But then you feel like this

And you question your friendship pretty much every weekend.

There are friends who you kind of talk to but not really but you like to stay connected because you care about their lives and their babies.

I already talked about those “friends” on facebook and twitter that you don’t actually care about.

And then there are your best friends. These are the friends who know every teeny tiny embarrassing story, bruise, scar and detail about you. These are the friends who laugh uncontrollably when you hand them a box of cheez-its. The friends who bring you your favorite soda when you are feeling a little too (**cough**) under the weather to do anything.

These friends take you to get scrambled eggs when you have a cold and drive you home after a tragedy. These are the friends who you have the very best memories and stories with. These are the friends that last forever. These are the friends you want to follow.
Suddenly this song from girl scouts is playing in my head

Make new friends, but keep the old
One is silver and the other’s gold

Circle’s round, it has no end
that’s how long I want to be your friend

Whoa. When did I get so cheesy? Back to business

So here’s how the cleanse works. Take some time. Take a night. Go to your facebook and make some decisions. Who do you care about? Whose baby pictures do you want to see? Whose political opinions do you want to hear? Whose vague complaints do you want to read? Then you decide if you want to delete them or just hide them. There are some people who you really need to hold on to so maybe you just want to hide them from your news feed. Then there are people who you haven’t talked to in years. Maybe you want to just delete those people.

Then there is twitter. Take a look at who you follow. Now take a look at who you ACTUALLY follow. Whose opinions do you actually care about and read? Sometimes I go on follow binges where I will follow every single actor on my favorite show and the costume designer and the director and three of the writers but really I don’t read any of their tweets. Those are the people who need to go. Sure it’s fun to follow celebrities but really they just clutter up your feed if you aren’t reading anything they have to say so why not just follow the people who make you smile or laugh or are actually changing the world or telling you something important.

It’s not always easy to make these decisions but I know you can do it.

Take the cleanse challenge and choose wisely my friends.

Here’s your happy moment:

By the way, I didn’t realize that most of my pictures were from Parks and Rec but if you’re not watching that show, you should be.

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Topics are hard

So I’ve been slacking.

I was doing so well the first week. Writing every day. I had a lot of things to say and I pretended that I was funny (which is always questionable)

Hey, I’m not perfect. I can’t always be witty. The topics don’t always magically appear like unicorns.

Sometimes I have to really think about them. That’s why they’ve been so scarce lately. It’s not easy but I love doing it.

I usually come up with great things to talk about but I could use help every now and again. So I’m going to throw this out there: If there’s something you want to get my perspective on, let me know in the comments anytime and I will give it a shot. For now, I will just keep trying to come up with topics on my own.

I think I might need a pep talk to motivate me to write some more.

Here’s your happy moment:

I sort of gave you two happy moments today. That’s to make up for my slacking. You’re welcome!

Somedays Silence is My Favorite Sound

Sometimes, I just like to be quiet.

It doesn’t mean anything. It just means that I’m being quiet. My college roommate always assumed I was crabby when I was being quiet. What was really happening was it was 9 am and I had just woken up and she had already had a cup of coffee and she was saying a lot of things to me and it was too much for 9 am

But crabby, no not really. Not usually.

I appreciate the quiet times. I love the middle of the night when everyone is asleep and the house is silent. Those are the best moments in my life.

There are some people who constantly want to fill the silence. Those are the people who want to just talk and talk and talk and talk until there’s nothing but noise left. I don’t like those people. Those are the people who talk at you instead of to you and I hate those people.

Ok, hate is a strong word. I really don’t like those people.

I will admit that I don’t always like it when it’s too quiet. I have a tendency to crank up the music or turn on the TV in the background when I’m home alone. I’m not sure if that makes this post pointless.

Sometimes you just need quiet moments in your life.

You could try this: http://thequietplaceproject.com/90seconds

Or you could just go to your room, lie on your bed, stare at the ceiling and enjoy the silence… or turn on some music which is a good idea too.

Here’s your happy moment:

Baby you can drive my car… because I don’t really want to

I hate driving

I don’t think I’m aggressive enough for it and I’m certainly not enthusiastic enough for it.

When I turned 16 I was like “ok, whatever, who cares” and then I waited to get my license. Maybe I was afraid or maybe — no, there’s nothing else. I was just afraid.

To be fair, I did the same thing with riding a bike. I didn’t learn how to do that until 3rd grade which was embarrassing because my parents got me a bike when I turned 6 and I asked them not to and they did it anyway but whatever.

Anyway, driving

There are several things about driving that I don’t like:

First and foremost, the other drivers. What’s their deal, man? I mean seriously. They are always riding my tail and slamming on the brakes and passing me aggressively. What’s that all about? It just seems really unnecessarily mean. Like hey, why won’t you let me into your lane when my lane is closed ahead for construction? It won’t hurt you. It’s just helping out another human.

I just don’t feel like the road is the best place to take out your emotions but hey, that’s just me.

The second is how focused you have to be. I have A.D.H.D. I don’t want to pay attention to anything! That’s ridiculous. That’s why I don’t text and drive. I’m no good at multitasking when I have to give more attention in one place. That and it’s illegal and dangerous.

The third is directions. I hate having to know which way I’m going. And I hate my G.P.S.. I used to think it was amazing but it’s really not. I suppose that could be my fault. We haven’t updated it in some time. I drove to see a friend the other day and I got to play a round of “who is right” between the G.P.S. which claimed it would take me 2 hours and the internet which said it would take an hour and a half. The internet won.

The G.P.S. was supposed to be this fantastic tool that saved me from shuffling through papers like a mad woman while I was driving but what’s the point if the internet print out directions are better than the turn by turn satellite directional system in my car?

My dream is to someday have a driver so I can sleep while I’m traveling and that will save me the stress I feel when I’m trying to get to a party on time. But then again, who doesn’t dream of that. Until then, I suppose I will continue to be a passive, careful driver that I always have been… and maybe I’ll take a road trip.

Here’s your happy moment:

Drive Safe

You dont have to give me a birthday card next year… I’ll just take the $3.50

Buying cards is hard.

I’ve recently spent some time buying cards and it was not a fun experience.

There is like a scale of cards out there ranging from the sappy cards

To the inappropriate

You really have to find the right balance on the scale. You don’t want to get your grandma or your mom a raunchy card and you probably don’t want to get your brother something really sappy.

Of course it all depends on the person because maybe you do make raunchy jokes with your grandma or your mom and maybe you and your brother are super emotional people and that’s ok.

You could always try to write your own card, but why do that when Hallmark is offering you a thousand ways to say congratulations?

Personally, I always shoot for something in the middle because then it’s safe for pretty much everyone.

Otherwise I look for something that will make me laugh really hard in the middle of the store. I’m talking, embarrassingly loud.

Those are also the kinds of cards I prefer to receive. This is the best birthday card I ever got.

stephanie likes corn on the cob dr heckle funny happy birthday card

I laughed until I cried. But that’s just me. Maybe you don’t think it’s that funny. That’s your problem.

Anywho, I think I need to just buy a ton of really awesome cards. Today I saw some great ones, none of which were appropriate for what I needed.

Maybe next time! Here’s your happy moment:

It’s a little too accurate if you ask me

I didn’t mean to get so behind

I can’t really explain how crazy this week has been so I won’t try.

I haven’t been able to decide what to write about and I haven’t really had the focus to sit down and write it. I think maybe walking away from this for a few days really ruined my flow but no need to worry. I have some topic ideas in mind. I just need to think about them a little bit and not be so tired all the time.

That’s the key. The more tired I feel, the less focus I have to give to this project so now I’m going to go to bed and I promise that tomorrow there will be a really interesting (because I know you all find these so incredibly fascinating) post about something fantastic.

Here’s your happy moment. Hopefully it will make you smile:

I wish you would just give me some shoes

I have this dilemma right now.

I love shoes but I have been shopping for shoes for weeks.

I guess that’s not really a dilemma, it’s more a personal issue.

Here’s the situation: My brother is getting married in about six weeks… actually I think it might be less. Ouch. Anyway, I bought a really cute dress that I got for like $10 which is pretty incredible compared to what I was finding before I found my good luck on the clearance rack at work. It needs some tweaking but it’s all doable. Here’s the problem: I’m having a hell of a time matching shoes to this dress! I want to match the shoes to the ribbon that I am tying around the waist and I’m very in control of the color so I started with the idea of yellow but then I changed my mind and fell in love with this tiffany blue satin ribbon so now it’s all about matching that which is really hard and I almost feel like it shouldn’t be this hard.

My biggest problem hasn’t even been the color. It’s the heel height. I am not one of those girls who can walk in a 5 inch heel and be totally fine. I promise you I will fall on my face and it will be really embarrassing. That is a wedding ruiner.

Where did all of these crazy high shoes come from? Who can walk in those?

I stopped trying to walk in heels a few years ago. I thought I was so cool clomping around in my four inch heels and then I realized that those shoes hurt and I looked stupid.

So now its flats and sneakers for me… unless it’s a special occasion and I know that it would be better for the outfit if I wore heels. It’s just my way of bettering society.

So here I am, spending another night shopping for shoes. It’s exhausting and it’s hurting my eyes. I just wish someone would find me the perfect pair of shoes. Not too high or too pointy and the perfect shade of blue.

I think it might be a long shot. I guess I’ll keep looking online.

Here’s your happy moment:

Let me know if you know of good online shoe stores!

I’ll only be gone for a minute

Ok kids. I’m going away this weekend so I won’t be able to share all of my very interesting and important thoughts with you BUT I plan to write them down so get ready because Sunday you will get one hell of a blog.

Scratch that. It might be Monday. It is going to be a party weekend so who knows how Sunday will be.

In the mean time, feel free to comment on my other posts! Ask me questions! Tell me what to talk about! Make a statement that will make me think!

And do yourself a favor and dance with this happy moment

This has been my favorite song for the last four days

I think I’ll just walk the track

I don’t like competition.

I never have. Gym class was my worst nightmare. Putting a bunch of teenagers with raging hormones in one room together and telling to launch big red rubber balls at each other was a terrible idea.

Don’t get me wrong. Dodgeball is excellent. So is kickball. I’m thinking about putting together a game this summer at some point when I can take a break from being a responsible adult.

It was more the anger and frustration that was taken out using Dodgeball that just made it unnecessarily aggressive almost always.

I was always picked last. It’s probably because I wasn’t very athletic or enthusiastic about playing some made up game that had combined soccer and hockey and didn’t really make sense.

I preferred the days when we could go to the weight room and I could just sit on the bike when the teacher wasn’t looking or the days when we could just walk the track.

The thing is I enjoy working out. I do it when I’m stressed out. It helps. You should definitely try it sometime.

And I like games. Running around outside is a blast. We should all take some time to do that.

Maybe it was the forced activity that came with gym class. It was like “play this crazy ass game RIGHT NOW” and I don’t know I just don’t like being told what to do.

And the way they would test us. How many pushups can you do? How many sit-ups? Pull ups? How fast will it take you to run from this line to the next?

What were they testing us for? Was I being prepped for the hunger games? Is that where those other students went?

Here’s what I learned in gym class:

How to properly play volleyball

How to shoot a basketball

The fact that telling a male gym teacher that you have cramps and lady problems gets you out of gym in an instant

I don’t want to be a bad influence, but that actually works.

Here’s your happy moment:

Saying Goodbye To The Office

Well that’s it. The Office is over. It’s been nine beautiful years.

We’ve watched the people you wish sold you your paper

A group of accountants that included a crazy cat lady, a pompous gay man and a guy who may not have been able to do any math at all

Some crazy people who may not even work there

A man lose his mind

And then sing his way into our hearts

Some of the best pranks ever committed

Possibly the worst couple ever put together

Two best friends fall in love

And the “world’s best boss” become the world’s best boss

I will miss The Office. My Thursday nights won’t be the same without you.

Here’s your happy moment. It’s a long one but it’s worth it: